So You Want To Be The Best: The Principle of Presence
We all want to be the best at everything we do, but we often negate the one thing that will truly make us the best: presence.
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“The greatest gift you can give another person is the purity of your attention.”
To Note:
Human-generated content.
I read the story of a man in a magazine once who was credited with being the best wherever he was. He was highly regarded as a heart surgeon, adored as a father, loved as a husband, and respected as a church service volunteer. His wife’s commentary was something along the lines of “he was 100% where he was, when he was there.” That simple principle helped Russell M. Nelson excel as a pioneer in Utah’s open heart surgery & he simultaneously became the president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints later in his life with an ever-growing well-loved posterity. He was respected & revered by many because of the gift of his presence.
So you want to be the best? Here’s how you can become more present.
Why Presence?
Of all the things we could do to become the very best at something, why in the world focus on presence? Showing up with presence means we show up with focus. Our focus helps us to better understand what or who is in front of us, making more intentional decisions regarding any situation we find ourselves in. Presence also allows us to truly connect. Our relationships matter more than anything else. Our relationships create opportunities, & they give us the grounds to reach our highest potential. Unless we are present with our relationships, we will miss out on the many opportunities God grants for us to become our very best.
Adversaries to Presence
We live in an ever distracted world. I find myself fighting to be present constantly. In fact, in some of my hardest days I recognized that presence was one thing I was missing the very most. As I sat in front of someone having a conversation I felt everywhere but where I was, & I smiled & nodded as if I was truly focused but I certainly wasn’t. So what is it that get us to that point?
Technology.
We all saw this one coming, right? We are in a constant battle with our devices, attempting to make them tools instead of taskmasters. The more we challenge ourselves to hold strong boundaries around our use of technology, the more presence we will inevitably find in our life.
Personal health.
It’s been fascinating to me as I have implemented more regular healthy habits that I have dug myself out of that place I described before. This isn’t just a consideration of physical health though, it is a matter of whole health. Considerations of mental, physical, social & spiritual health are what will truly integrate deeper presence into our lives. With some irony, our focus on whole health is what truly allows us to accomplish the goal of forgetting ourselves & going to work.
Pessimism.
While pessimism falls along the lines of whole health, it deserves some special attention. Presence is rooted in gratitude—especially immediate gratitude. When we recognize the goodness around us in every immediate moment, not only can we keep our attention to our most immediate surroundings, but we are operating from an uplifted place. It becomes quickly evident in ourselves & as we observe others whether they are operating out of gratitude & abundance, or pessimism & scarcity. Presence takes a huge blow when we choose pessimism & scarcity.
Tools For More Presence
There are habits practiced by “the best” that directly impact their ability to be more present. These habits are what challenge the adversaries of presence.
Technology boundaries.
Choosing to use technology in a way that enhances our ability to connect, rather than challenge it is one of the best ways we can practice better presence. I’ve seen phones treated like landlines, placed in a spot where it will only be noticed when someone calls. I’ve appreciated screen time limits for myself & have considered many of the other methods of taking screen time down a notch (such as using phone blocking tools like the brick). Take off your headphones! I have found myself halfway through my day with my headphones still on, embarrassingly only catching about half of what my kids need from me. If you need some tunes, find a way to play it for everyone. There is also great importance in asking yourself the question, “Why am I getting on here?” every time you pick up your phone. It’s far too easy to jump on for no given reason & find yourself lost 20 min, 40 min, even hours later.
Gratitude practices.
When considering our health, the first place we should start is a shift of mindset. Seeing the good & recognizing abundance are two of the greatest ways we can practice greater presence. As we show up with gratitude, we aren’t distracted by the negative thoughts that draw us so far inward, instead we are incentivized to look outside of ourself & connect with more around us.
The Greatest Gift We Can Give
Being fully present is a joyful experience for you & anyone who gets to be around you. The best gift we can give anyone is our full presence. When we’re home, we should be 100% home. When we’re at work, we should be 100% at work. When we're with someone, let us challenge ourselves to be 100% with them. We can even offer this gift of presence for ourselves by utilizing the quiet of the morning to connect to ourselves. All of these connections will accelerate our ability to truly become our best.
Where to Start:
Practicing gratitude is a great way to begin practicing greater presence. It is one piece of the whole health puzzle that makes a huge difference in everything else we do. If you need a little extra help with practicing optimism, I created an Immediate Gratitude freebie just for you! A simple practice to help you get back into your most present mind.
If you’re looking for even greater support with whole health, you will become the very best for your home by participating in our Foundation First course! Not only will we focus on whole health, but we will dive much deeper into the mindset shifts & practical tools that will get you excited to become your best & identify what your best really is.
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We all want to be the best at everything we do, but we often negate the one thing that will truly make us the best: presence.