The One Thing You Need to Become the Ultimate Version of You
The miracle of gratitude in overcoming anxieties and finding the confidence required to progress.
Table of Contents:
“Gratitude focuses on truth by requiring us to live consciously in the present.”
The One Thing: Gratitude
Intention & Gratitude
Your Transformation
To Sum It All Up…
A Simple Start
To Note:
I believe in God and consider myself a disciple of Jesus Christ. I believe these principles were taught by Jesus Christ. If you believe differently, please feel welcome to re-frame these same principles from your viewpoint of a higher power. I will always believe in more commonality than difference when it comes to principles people subscribe to for living fulfilling lives.
I stayed up quite late to write all of these things down. As I looked back on what the biggest key to my mindset transformation was and peeled back layers until I found the origin, I found a key principle. Because I believe I found the root of all the good I’ve experienced since my own transformation I needed to share.
So let’s get started. Here’s how you can frame your mind to allow you the transformations you desire.
My Story
My tear-stained face felt tighter than usual. I was finishing my Stevie Wonder playlist and heading out to the snow-covered, rusty 1978 GMC Sierra I borrowed from my brother to drive to school. It had been an interesting few months. I often described myself as a “science experiment” searching for the quick fix that would jump-start me back into the smart, happy, and determined girl I used to be. At 17, living in a supportive home with great parents, friends, and family, I should have been hopeful about the future. Instead, I felt an overwhelming sense of doom. Despite trying every solution—medicinal, holistic, and even the desperate plea for homeschooling—I couldn’t shake the dread of returning to school. Now that I was officially re-enrolled, every morning was a battle just to get there. I woke up with a pit in my stomach, hot tears welling up before I even got out of bed. Dragging myself through the motions—showering, eating, and hopefully brushing my teeth—felt like carrying Jacob Marley’s chains. “Sir Duke” became my distraction. When I finally jumped into the driver’s seat, I wanted to go anywhere but where I was supposed to. The paradox was that while anxiety kept me from school, it also pushed me there, knowing I was being buried alive by missed work and could lose my chance at a diploma. The truck eventually sputtered to life, and I bounced along the highway to school.
Some days, I’d drive there only to pack back up and head home. One day, I kept driving until the truck ran out of gas, forcing me to call my mom for rescue—nowhere near school. My head was full of racing thoughts, each one heavier than the last, burying any potential light. The few days I made it into school, I spent my hours in the counseling office, struggling to focus on assignments, barely able to stay conscious of what was in front of me. I saw no way back to who I used to be—an A-student, socially adept, ambitious, and determined. She seemed to be dead.
In that bumpy truck, I sought anything to distract me from the anxiety gnawing at my mind. I glanced up and saw snow-topped mountains. I spoke to Heaven often, and this time I thought, “Wow, what beautiful mountains. Thank You for painting this sunrise behind them.” For the first time in a long while, the beauty outside took me out of my head. The mountains, the synchronized flight of birds—it reminded me that life was bigger than the swirling thoughts in my mind.
How about you?
Experiencing anxiety certainly isn’t unique to me. I wonder, do you see yourself in any part of my story? Have you ever felt the weight of the world on your shoulders or even just a piece of it? Do you feel like you're losing control of some aspect of your life, or maybe all of it? Even if you feel alright, do you dream of becoming an even better version of yourself? If you can relate to any of this, I see you. That’s why I’m writing. My search for hope once felt bleak, but today, hope is one of my primary emotions. Through my experiences with faith and guidance from good mentors, I’m doing things my 17-year-old self never imagined. One principle in particular stands out, and I feel called to share it. And now, eight years later, I fully back what I learned then as the most impactful lesson on me. Like a big sister, I hope to offer you something that brings you one step closer to becoming the person you envision. Life is all about relationships—those with others and with ourselves. You can build a life and future you’re excited about, no matter the circumstances.
The One Thing
As a growth seeker, I’m always pondering the “first step.” The first steps toward change can feel daunting when you start with the ultimate goal in mind. Author Gary Keller emphasizes the importance of a first step—a “large domino” that knocks down the rest. He calls it “The One Thing”. Through my own experiences, I’ve become convinced that the first step is simpler than we might think. In fact, it may always be the same, regardless of our situation, personality, or circumstances. The first step toward transformation, whether you're at rock bottom or already feeling on top of the world, is to begin with gratitude.
The Synonymous Nature of Intention and Gratitude
Beginning with mindset is essential because the mind is the starting point on the journey to the heart. True growth is when our hearts are changed, and the traits we seek become part of who we are. If we don’t control our minds, lasting change is impossible. The way to align mindset with goals is by setting clear intentions.
When we think about who we want to become, we must align our values with our will. Intentions act like stakes supporting a growing plant, setting boundaries that guide upward growth. They keep us focused and aligned with our true selves, helping us stay on track toward fulfilling our life’s mission.
What does setting intentions look like in practice? It looks like gratitude. Giving thanks for what we have and for the opportunity to grow into who we want to be. Gratitude forces us into the present moment. Because our minds are built to find more of what we focus on (or are present with), we will find that the good we seek comes in abundance just by recognizing that it’s good in the first place.
Starting with gratitude keeps us conscious of the people and opportunities in front of us. It also keeps us aware of our own capabilities and ability to challenge our minds and bodies. It helps us stay aware of our progress and the miracles at work in our lives. Gratitude is the bridge between great self-image and the necessary self-awareness for continuous improvement. It allows us to extend grace to ourselves and others, and to pace our forward progression.
Transformation
So what changed for me that day when I noticed the mountains? For a moment, I wasn’t the victim of my own mind. I changed my focus to the world around me. When I began focusing on the things I was grateful for, I stopped telling myself I was the opposite of those things. “I’m so stupid” turned into, “I’m grateful for my determination—I can figure this out.” Speaking confidence into myself changed how I showed up. Over time, I broke through the barriers of negativity and self-imprisonment, discovering that mastering my mind was always within my control.
As a mom of two (2 and under), my ability to feel grateful is tested daily. But the principle holds true. Even in moments of overwhelm, finding gratitude brings me back to center. It fills my cup so I can pour into others, helping me to fill my roles the way I’ve always wanted.
To sum it all up…
I start with gratitude because it’s practical. Gratitude focuses on truth by requiring us to live consciously in the present. It amplifies the good in our lives, builds self-trust, and deepens our relationship with God or whatever aligns with your beliefs as a higher power. When you live with gratitude, life becomes vivid and exciting—even in the face of challenges. Gratitude helps us see the miracles God grants as we grow toward Him and strengthens our trust in ourselves as stewards of our minds.
Your Next Step:
Before you begin, recognize that perfection isn’t attainable. I am certainly not disciplined 100% of the time to live by these principles (I’m shooting for the 51%). ;) But, I’m grateful for the gift to change and return to this better way – and that’s how I try to live.
So where to begin? Start by noticing your thoughts. I believe thoughts are the spiritual creation that precedes the physical. Recognizing your thoughts allows you to analyze and master them. When I was younger, I was often inwardly focused, constantly talking to myself. While I thought it made me strange, it turned out to be a superpower. Being self-aware allowed me to correct thoughts that hurt my view of myself or others. My journey into anxiety stemmed from negative thinking, whether I was conscious of it or not. Self-awareness and accountability for my thoughts ultimately set me free.
You are not your thoughts. Offer yourself grace when negative ones arise and celebrate the positive ones. Use this awareness to write down your thoughts as they come. Thoughts create feelings, so reverse-engineer your emotions to uncover the thoughts behind them. If you feel numb, spend more time in the present moment. Tune into the sensory experiences around you and seek opportunities to feel within healthy bounds.
A mentor changed my life with a simple practice: When I identified negative thoughts, I asked, “But what would God say about me?”. This question helped me re-align my thoughts with divine truth, restoring my confidence and deepening my relationship with God.
So enjoy it all. Enjoy the fruits of living in truth (not logic, but eternal truth – the kind that can’t change or vary in each mortal mind). Truth about yourself, your identity, your abilities and opportunities. Truth about others. When you practice gratitude you experience presence. When you experience presence, you can know truth. When you know truth, you know God. When you know God, you can know the ultimate version of you.
Disclaimer: I do not deny the reality of mental illness, or the necessity of medical intervention. While I am not currently seeking professional help, I believe in the miracle of medication when necessary. Please seek professional intervention if needed, and feel free to use these tools alongside it.
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A mind makeover sounds intimidating, especially if you’re starting from rock bottom. But I’m convinced you only really need one thing to make it all happen.